Fair Feathered Excerpt: 2 - Paulina Ulrich

As I walked back through the woods, it took me a little longer than I expected to reach the lake, but when I did, I walked to the edge and stopped. I stared at the water that barely washed over my toes and it was cold and beckoning. My body trembled with fear, but I had to do this. My feet took a few steps forward until they were ankle deep. I stopped again, catching my breath in my throat at the iciness. Keep going. My thoughts commanded my body to will itself forward. The saddest part of it all was that I knew what the consequences of this would be…and I was willing to accept. I hoped that this time, it wasn’t a dream. I wanted to escape the dread I had been suffering from for weeks now. It would all be over soon.
            Wading deeper, I continued walking into the lake farther and farther until my head went under the surface. Silence. There was only the silence. I savored the momentary peace that I felt had been taken from me. This would be the last thing I heard but not the last thing I saw. Behind my eyelids was a brilliant image, an image of the boy I loved desperately but would never see again. I was selfish but I couldn’t bear the thought of one more day, going through the same painful routine that I had been forced into. If I left him a letter, it would have been burned. I knew it wasn’t long before someone found me. It was time.
            Exhaling all the oxygen from my lungs, I watched the bubbles fly up to the surface that was now far above me. The ache in my lungs was unmistakable but I closed my eyes, ignoring the pain. Conjuring up the best memories I had in my last minutes, I replayed them over and over until I could feel my conscious slipping away. I finally felt free, like a bird that could fly. I wouldn’t be flightless anymore. (©) Paulina Ulrich

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